Letter To Best Friends, Aunts, Uncle Nels & Cousins

August 28th, 2009

This will be a work of passion,

about respect, love, friendship, heartbreak, hurt, and loss.

All the things that make people so special in our lives.

And the memories we hold and those we wish we could forget.

This is something that will be ongoing (it began for FIVE friends & kept growing)

as I will be jumping back and forth between everyone

as I ponder and reflect on what was and what is.

And of course, there will be what I miss about each person.

I will have sections on people in the order they came into my life.

Some will flow easier and faster than others so if interested, please check back now and then.

This means so much to me to get these thoughts and feelings out..

I feel life passing me by

and to be quite honest i am afraid you will not know

how much you have meant to me if i do not have it here for you to read.

'56years' just kind of slapped me in the face...

It is just so much easier to do it this way as the thoughts flow

i can place them under those i am thinking about.

I will not put last names but you will know who you are..

Just remember, if you are here..

>> I LOVE YOU <<

and YOU have ALWAYS mattered to me

I wish I had told those that have already passed on

everything I thought of when thinking of them through the years,

what they meant to me and why.

I wish I told them how they helped form my life

and the sorrow and or guilt I feel at not telling them so.

My ONLY hope is that they, had NO doubt

of the love and the respect I held in my heart and soul for them.

The idea for this has come a day after seeing pictures of my Aunt Margaret's 88th Birthday Celebration with my cousins up in Apalachin New York.

It was like what I saw/experienced as a child

when seeing all my aunts, uncles, and my grandparents

(Bob and Emma Berg)

all sitting around laughing, drinking beer, playing horseshoes, telling jokes

& my cousins and I were the kids.

Those were, without any doubt the best days of my entire life!

I literally sat here and cried and cried for all I had missed,

all I had and what kind of life had been taken away from me.

I was removed from my loving grandparents in Vestal, New York

to go live with a mother I saw maybe 3 times in 12 years

and did not know with her new husband in Miami Beach, Florida.

The day they took me away in the car, is the ONLY time I ever ever saw my Grandfather cry..

and i will never forget that.

Grandpa standing on the side of the road with tears running down his face.

They raised me for 12 years.

How I cherished that man..and my grandmother.

I swear, it is because of them I have such a love for animals and know giving is 100 times better than getting.

This letter/blog/tribute will take time..and will be scattered..

Those of you this is for, really have no idea who i have become or why.

Heck, I doubt I even know..!! I will try to write every day..

This is a major priority of mine now..

Too many of you need to know...

I love you

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